I have at my fingertips a license to fix all that ails the
world. It’s so simple; I’m not sure why
someone else hasn’t thought of it already.
Don’t go getting any ideas of hijacking this solution and getting rich
off the fall out! I thought of it
first.
It’s called posting opinions on social media.
Here’s how it works.
While scrolling through your newsfeed, Twitter feed, or other preferred
social media, keep one’s eyes trained for headlines that could potentially
unlock the mysteries of the human race, like the following:
11 Things You are Doing Wrong as a Parent of Teens
1 Genius Device Could Save Thousands of Children During
School Shootings
Why Teaching Your Kids to Share is Bad for Them
7 Exercises for a Flat Stomach by Tomorrow
8 Telltale Signs that She’s Cheating
9 Common Fashion Faux Pas
10 Ridiculously Easy Life-Hacks that Ought to be Illegal
Blame the Teenagers for What Happened in McKinney
Here’s Why the McKinney Cop’s Barrel Roll is Worth
Discussing
Can a Person Choose Their Preferred Race Like they can
Choose Their Preferred Gender?
And the list goes on!!
The first rule of fixing all that ails the world is to not
actually read the information posted with the headline. Simply scan the headline and accompanying
picture and click that “share” button with abandon! Social Media statistics indicate that only a
percentage of one’s friends/followers/stalkers actually see what you post, so
the more you share it, the more your friends might see it. If you’re lucky, several of them will also
share it, thus exponentially increasing your efforts at fixing the evils of the
world one click at a time.
The second rule of fixing it all is to quickly move on to
the next item of interest, carefully following rule number 1 in the process.
I’m scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I just don’t
know what to think.
VW tricks Hong Kong movie-goers into checking their cell
phones so they won’t text and drive.
Making guns illegal works about as good as making drugs
illegal
Pray for such and such person (that I don’t even know)
Cheap food is easy to make and is delicious
Cheap food is bad for you
Teaching kids to share is bad practice
Everyone needs to share
Don’t be your kid’s friend, be their parent
Modest is hottest
Modest is not hottest; hot is hottest and women should not
try to be hot
Don’t blame women for men’s reactions to women’s bodies
The number on the scale does not determine how fit you are
“Lose 15 lbs fast!”
Do your own thing and I’ll do mine
If you do things for others, you’ll be a happier person
Put yourself first
If black lives matter, cops are bad
If you think cops are good then you don't care about black
people
Praise God in one post then put sexually offensive memes up
depicting assaults on women in the next
Tell girls they need to cover up their bodies so boys won't
try to rape them (or worse, desire
them)
The video of a guy roofieing girls' drinks to show them how
to protect themselves People screaming "RAPE CULTURE" at those kinds
of videos (while disregarding how sexist the video actually is)
So then, I'm on my way to the gym the other day (hey, I go
once a month whether I need it or not!), and I'm wondering what to do with my
wallet, car keys, and phone. If I leave all that in the car, it could get
stolen and who wouldn't accuse me of asking for it? And if I take it into the
gym and put it in my locked locker, it could still get stolen and I'd still
have been asking for it. So just by virtue of having things that people want
makes me a target, I guess! But how is theft culture different than rape
culture? I still have to protect my belongings from theft by keeping them out
of sight. How is anything in this world ever going to get fixed? Am I really
asking for it? Or is there something else at stake here.
One common theme is the idea that a large number of people
have to be in concert about a certain cause in order to change things for the
better. A collective cognitive force must be the only answer, thus I am being
fed a load of crap via the same social media I voluntarily signed up for 5
years ago, but I still believe in the power of personal responsibility (and
God)! I believe that I can make a difference all by my little lonesome and
don’t need millions of minions to back me up in a cause. I believe I can be a
voice for the minorities, the poverty stricken, the downtrodden, the sick, the
weak, the prisoner. They don’t need millions of people believing something is
wrong about their situation and haranguing about it on the Twitter; they just
need ONE person willing to speak out, donate, lift up, pray for, support, and
encourage. It is MY responsibility to
reach out to our black brothers and sisters; even though I don’t even know the
right way to do that anymore (thanks, social media!) It is MY responsibility to
remain steadfast in my faith, and should not be dependent upon millions of
others who agree with me! It is MY responsibility to not make girls feel shameful
because—heaven forbid—one walks into a church service wearing nothing but a
bikini! Likewise, it is my responsibility to dress in a way that makes me feel
confident and attractive. But just like my wallet and my keys and my phone,
sometimes there’s just nowhere to hide it all, so I also need to adopt a
certain level of self-preservation and by doing so, should not be accused of
contributing to “rape culture” by being wary any more than dressing like a
prostitute might make someone believe that I was asking for it.
Speaking of asking for it, I can’t post this without knowing
that it might stir up some bad comments. I welcome them. But please do not try
to tell me that I’m taking this out of context. I’m finally putting it all IN
context so that maybe as a collective we can finally take note of the
ridiculous mess we’re making of the world, ironically, in an effort to fix it.
According to history, Jesus thought that was what He was doing when we was
executed 2000 years ago.
I believe that.
THAT alone is my responsibility!
Yes, I’m posting a link to this on social media!
