To the Class of 2015:
As “luck” would have it, my daughter-in-law posted this
article on Facebook just this morning and I am going to summarize it here for
you in this, your official senior letter! It’s called The Moral Bucket List and it was published in The New York Times’
April 11, 2015 edition by David Brooks. I’d encourage you to read it for
yourself.
The author compares two different kinds of adventures; the
kind that make for a good social media snapshot, temporary and shallow, and the
kind that imbeds itself into the fabric of one’s moral identity, woven like the
living script of an epic movie that one day could be hailed as a classic! It
starts with the realization that “generosity of spirit and capability for deep
love” (Brooks, 2015) yield a higher level of satisfaction for a life well lived
than any death-defying, ceiling shattering accomplishments ever could.
If you live for external achievement, years pass and the
deepest parts of you go unexplored and unstructured. You lack a moral
vocabulary. It is easy to slip into a self-satisfied moral mediocrity. You grade yourself on a forgiving curve. You
figure as long as you are not obviously hurting anybody and people seem to like
you, you must be O.K. But you live with an unconscious boredom, separated from
the deepest meaning of life and the higher moral joys. Gradually, a humiliating
gap opens between your actual self and your desired self, between you and those
incandescent souls you sometimes meet (Brooks, 2015).
The author, realizing his own shallow moral resume, set out
to find the recipe to live the kind of life that the people he most admired lived;
the kind of people who brighten a room when they walk in, who radiate sense of
purpose and an open invitation to take the moral high road. He discovered
conclusively that such people are not born.
They intentionally cultivate their character making conscious decisions
to make a positive difference in this world. He refers to the process by six
pursuits he coined “the moral bucket list,” for lack of a catchier gimmick.
The first identifier was what he calls “the humility shift.” Being brutally honest about our own
weaknesses causes us to identify which “core sin” makes us feel ashamed. Humility
is achieved consciously, not imposed externally; otherwise it is humiliation. A
truly humble person cannot be humiliated! The second is “self-defeat.” By this, he means confrontation with your own
weakness. It builds on the first point, but this one requires action—a deliberate
decision to tame our own weaknesses so that we can develop a mature attitude
that transcends an outwardly peaceful appearance, but becomes ingrained in our
very soul. The practice of confronting our weaknesses results in a lifetime
habit of maturity. Brooks gives an example in the article, if you’re looking for
a way to incorporate this for yourself.
Next he reveals “the
dependency leap,” and compares the difference between the
personal-goal-setting, go-get-‘em, self-promoting achievements acquired through
grit and determination with the humble acceptance of human connection
throughout life’s journey. Those with high moral character understand that life
is a process that can’t be fully explored without meaningful connections,
sharing the pain and glory with those who are also on the same journey. In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,
author Steven R. Covey calls it “interdependence.” These deep connections give
way to “energizing love.” This is
the kind of love that causes people to desire to serve. We will serve, worship,
and adore that which we love! Ask your parents. The second you were placed in
their care, a shift happened that transcended any previous love. This kind of love is energizing and provides
the necessary strength and power to follow through with things that are hard to
do but are unquestionably worthwhile. Worship belongs only to our Lord and
Savior, but rest assured, you worship something and your energy is fully committed
to that thing you worship.
Have you ever felt “called” to something? While many people
strive to fit the mold for a career, some have looked farther and deeper for a
calling to impact lives for the better. This calling transcends the results of
recognition, status, financial security, or self-fulfillment. In what Brooks
refers to as “the call within the call,”
it embodies a passion to change things for the better regardless of cost,
whether it be emotional, financial, or physical. The desire to create a better world becomes
the driving force for this characteristic and the desired result gives us the
commitment to press on! Then, at some point in your life, you will be called to
make “the conscience leap.” It’s the
moment of decision where you’re presented with a choice to take a stand and
either conform to social norms or challenge them with a risky investment. The
author gives an example in the life of Mary Ann Evans. You know her as author George Eliot who wrote
Silas Marner. She was faced with a
choice to kowtow to social conventions and eschew her chance for love later in
life or to identify that society is not always right and choose love. She chose love at the potential cost of her
reputation, but eventually became one of the most prolific authors of any time
period (Brooks, 2015). Chances are, you’ve already been given several chances
at a conscience leap. Maybe you’ve
leapt. Maybe you’ve caved. You will be given more opportunities, but now
you can examine your skill set against these six character markers and the next
time you’re given the option to take a chance against all odds, knowing what is
honorable and willingly accepting whatever consequences follow, you’ll be in a
better position to make that leap with humility, maturity, and confidence.
I look forward to joining you in your journey as you explore
your calling and increase your willingness to take chances to do the right
thing even when it’s hard. Welcome to adulthood. We’ve been anxiously awaiting you!
What’s on your bucket list?
Much love,
Every Teacher You've Ever Had (and your parents)
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/12/opinion/sunday/david-brooks-the-moral-bucket-list.html?_r=0
retrieved April 13, 2015
